"I Hope I did My Bit Well and Gave My Mom Good Stories in Heaven to Tell.
1. Our aging parents need our Love and Care, especially when they are no longer Self-Dependent. Providing this support is the ultimate gratitude a child can offer. Instead of outsourcing this duty, if we can manage both work and caregiving together, then we are Fortunate to undertake this Noble Responsibility.
2. Caretaking of a parent is an extremely tough job that requires patience. I had been caretaking my Mom since 2012, and MY MOM was GRADUALLY PROGRESSED INTO COMPLETE DEPENDENCY, she became completely bed ridden from 2017. However, a situation arose during a lockdown, as an untrained caregiver, I felt helpless as my Octogenarian Mom fell seriously ill with covid and other comorbidities and no direct help around. Plus, my brother suffered from a stroke while recovering from covid adding the complexities to the situation.
3. In such maddening situations, you are bound to lose a lot — your Composure, Will, Spirit, and, finally, the Patient, due to your incompatibility.
BUT CAN YOU AFFORD TO LOSE?
NO! YOU CAN'T!!
Our parents NEVER gave up on us, so why should we give up on them? Come what may, we must provide strong support even in challenging circumstances like a lockdown with limited assistance and difficult medical care. Our parents deserve the best, and it's our duty to give our best.
(Fortunately, Covid Battle was won by both Bro and Mom, but Mom was also fighting a long war.)
4. BUT HOW DO YOU EFFICIENTLY FIGHT A LOSING WAR? By maintaining patience and giving your best.
After numerous bouts of crying, triggered by auto suggestions that frightened me with adverse outcomes, I realized the importance of STAYING STRONG and DOING MY KARMA of Nursing.
5. So, I became EMOTIONALLY NUMB and simply told myself to KEEP BREATHING. This has helped me in caretaking for my Mom.
6. Further, Daily LIFTING, TURNING, CLEANING my mom for more than 6 years involved physical stress on my body and even longer mental stress from witnessing her helplessness. Doctors today confirm that the physical stress has caused some irreversible damage to my spine, and the mental stress has caused some damage to my retina.
7. But, I have no regrets at all because this is nothing compared to the sacrifices our parents endure for us throughout their lifetime – be it the stretch marks, the pain during delivery by a mom, or other body and heart aches by both parents due to us.
8. NOW, WHY AM I SHARING THIS? Not to boast about my responsibilities, but to influence someone who might gather insights and inspiration from this experience and apply them in their life.
9. The intent is that, EVEN IF ONE SOUL IS INFLUENCED BY THIS STORY, THEN MY BIRTH IS WORTH IT.
This is an episode of my story to the world.
With utmost humbleness,
– Jinesh Zaveri